Time to admit that some weeks there are no pictures taken, none, zero, zilch. Some weeks I run around like a chicken with my head cut off only to fall face first into bed exhausted, worn out, emotionally drained and wondering why in the world I ever thought nursing would be a good idea! Yes, there have been some hard days at the hospital lately. Hard days that make me realize more than ever that being a nurse is what ever fiber of my being was made to do. It was who God has called me to be. These same days have also left me wondering if I am strong enough.
Am I strong enough to the hold the hands that are taking the last breaths?
Am I strong enough to be a witness in those times?
In those moments as I quietly pray for their soul?
To fight back the tears as I am helping them to breathe?
All while praying that this may be their last peaceful breath?
Wondering if I should have done more?
Or possibly less?
Who am I to be at that bedside?
To go home with the memories of them heavy on my heart?
To hug my parents extra hard just in case?
Now that we got the career/calling discussion handled, we can move on!
I still want to be pushing myself towards using the camera more and not give up completely just because not all pictures fall on the right week, or are taken at the right time. Whatever "the right" time is! So, 52 pictures will be taken, edited and posted. Moments will be documented. Maybe not all in the correct week, there may be many in one week and none in another, but nonetheless, they will be.
"The climax of God's happiness
is the delight He takes
in the echoes of His excellence
in the praises of His people. "