Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The hope that spring brings

{P 52: 10}

Don't you know that day dawns after night,
showers displace drought,
and spring and summer follow winter?
Then, have hope!
Hope forever, for God will not fail you!
-Charles Spurgeon

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Bible Hoarder

When I dropped her off at the airport yesterday I was bummed. The Best was gone, back on her way to California. And then I got home and discovered she'd left me a sneaky little gift. She knew that I had wanted the thin line ESV, because, well,  I'm a Bible hoarder. Out of all things one could hoard I figure this is least harmful...I could hoard cats, or knives, or booze. Me, I hoard Bibles. Anyway, I was going to buy this one at Powell's and she jumped in and bought it for me because this is how we do birthday's. Fun, huh? What I didn't immediately know was that this is the EXACT Bible that she has. Be still, my Bible hoarding heart. She also wrote a personal inscription in it for me. Of which she wrote I cannot tell you because I cannot even think about reading it without tears springing to my eyes. This is a gift that I will surely treasure. And the coffee. Well. Come on.
There will be a post soon about all of our shenanigans while she was here. Naomi and Josh were our gracious hosts for a weekend in Portland. We tasted local wine. Discovered lots of delicious restaurants and indulged in lots and lots of girl talk.
As I said, dropping her off sucked. Sucked hard. But it was a relief knowing that I was sending her off to a home that she loves and where she is loved. It is a blessing to end a vacation weekend both returning to a life where we feel richly blessed. Coming home to a hot Husband didn't hurt so bad either. I didn't hate it ;)
Cue me bawling like a little girl. 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Perfection Lost

The last two days I have felt like crud. The cruddiest crud. But nothing really outward to speak of. Mostly just the blahs, tired, exhausted, zero energy. And, being continuously critical of myself that I can't do it all. I hold myself to a standard that I cannot attain. And I am constantly wondering why I cannot meet that albiet unattainable mark.
Why can't I be all things to all people?
Why am I not a better friend?
Why do I not spend more time working out?
Why do I not always have dinner on the table at 5 pm?
Why do I always have dirty laundry hanging around?
Why is there always clutter on my counter? Dust on my floors?
Why does it seem my Husband always winds up dealing with a tired bundle of wife?
Why is working the job I do not easy?
Why is my wardrobe not more carefully crafted?
Why is my hair too this or too that?
Why is Jesus not always my first priority?
Why can I not find more time?
Why am I discontented?
So days were spent wallowing. Wondering. Trying to find ways to do it all. Read this magazine, get advice from that woman, make another list. There has to be a way!
And then, slowly.
Very slowly.
And almost hesitantly.
Blooms grace.
The grace that Jesus has planted in me, deep down in my soil. The grace He desperately hoped I would cling to, set my sights on attaining above all the others items on my list. I hear His voice strongly telling me to let it go. That my worth is in Him and not earned by being the perfect woman, the strongest woman, the "has-it-all-together" woman. Instead I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Early Spring

Around here lately...

Avery and her buddies Randy and Riley

Fabulous new sugar cookie recipe via Mel's Kitchen Cafe

Dad bought Avery Easter Bunny ears for Easter. She was NOT thrilled. But I have to admit, it was so funny to see her reaction. She loves my dad. She knows that he is the one who will always be talked into an extra treat. I think this torture was only endured because she knows that he gets her the good stuff.
Really grandpa? 

I fully expect a call from PETA for this one.
A very cranky Easter Puppy.

Much love,
Caitlin and Campbell

Monday, April 8, 2013

{Year 27}

Today I turn 28.

In my 27th year I:

Grew into myself as a nurse. While still experiencing awkward growing pains.

Learned to sleep during the day.

Got a new niece, Lexi Jade.

Marveled at my brother's skills as a father to two little girls.

Sought a deeper relationship with Jesus.

Read books that challenged me.

Focused less on looks and more on sanity.

Took more pictures. Tried to edit them.

Stayed awake during more than one movie, all the way until the end.

Grew new friendships. Cherished old ones.

Walked with Campbell as he faced a big scary challenge.

Trusted God with the unknown.

Admired Husband's patience, persistance and continued peace.

Watched as friends and family came alongside and cheered us on.

Celebrated a new journey.

Was thankful for the little things. Things I might not have noticed before.

Got pooped on, puked on, bled on.

Had tube feeding sprayed in my face. And laughed.

Had so many, "Is this really my life?!?!?! I am SO lucky!!!!", moments.

Ran a half-marathon with Mom.

Cared for patients as they finished their lives, hoping and praying that I somehow gave them the dignity they deserved in those last hours.

Got to know my cousin Trent even better.

Did not make my bed nearly enough.

Fell even deeper in love with Husband.

Here's to year 28: to the peaks and the valleys, come what may.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013